7 ways that imposter syndrome shows up without you realising it

Imposter syndrome is a reality for most business owners, and it's one that can sneak up on you unnoticed even as your business flourishes. In today's episode, I share my own experience with imposter syndrome and how it might be showing up for you in your business too.

– What imposter syndrome looks like and how it's holding you back
– How feeling overworked and pressured to do more can have a hidden cause—and what it's costing you
– When you fail to value your own expertise as the master of your craft
– How constantly giving the spotlight to others (and keeping yourself in the shadows) hinders your growth
– How imposter syndrome can show up as over-reaching and over-delivering, and be a disservice to your audience
– How saying yes, when you really mean no, can sabotage your boundaries—and your opportunities
– The curse of perfectionism

 

Today, we're talking about imposter syndrome. Something that I know affects pretty much every business or not at some stage in their business and for most of us, it actually shows up in different ways at different stages of our business. 

I think back to 2020 when my business grew really quickly and I knew that I wanted to invest in pitching for media. I wanted to pitch some podcasts for interviews but I was holding myself back from pitching and I couldn't figure out why and it wasn't until I started working with a coach Selena, who helped me to really figure out what it was that was holding me back from sending these pitches out. 

And what it turned out, in the end, was that there was a subconscious feeling of not being good enough, the subconscious imposter syndrome going on behind the scenes that was holding me back from sending these things out. 

 

Impulsive syndrome:

So what is impulsive syndrome really now? I Googled this because I was curious because I kind of had an understanding of what it is, but I was wondering what the official definitions were, and some of them they're quite different. 

The Oxford definition of imposter syndrome is the persistent, inability to believe that one success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.

I think this definition only really captures one tiny little pot of imposter syndrome. The part when something goes wrong, you blame yourself for it and when something goes, right, you're like, oh, that was lucky. Or you say that it was because of somebody else's work or that it just, it, none of it attributes back to your expertise and your work.

Another definition I came across was from a website called very well mind. And their definition of imposter syndrome was it's the internal, psychological experience of feeling like a foreigner in some area of your life, despite any success that you have achieved in that area. I think this definition will resonate with more of you than the Oxford definition.

You know, that feeling that someone is going to come out of the woodwork and say, who, who are you to be talking about that you're not qualified enough? You're an impostor. Even though you might have all of the qualifications and experiences and client results, you still have that lingering feeling at the back of your mind.

Now, the third definition I came across is actually the one that resonated the most with me and this is from a website called better up. They say imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high, performing an external objective way.

This condition often results in people feeling like a fraud or phony and doubting their abilities. Oh, that one resonated with me so much because it's like this endless success, that we are chasing this endless feeling of I will be successful, and we never get that because the goalpost keeps on moving.

So I want to talk today about some ways that imposter syndrome might show up in your business without you realising it, because it's not necessarily just going to shop in one way that we all stay like stereotypically think that it is holding ourselves back because we're doubting our ability and we're worried somebody's going to call us an impostor.

 

First way:

So the first way that it might show up without you realising it, if you are overworking and constantly putting pressure on yourself to do more, that might be imposter syndrome showing up in your business when you don't feel like you are successful or good enough, you're naturally going to just want to keep doing more, keep putting more pressure on yourself, working harder, trying to achieve more, more and more to get to this point where you do feel good enough, except the goalpost just keeps on moving.

And it shifts as you reach each new level in your business. It never fully goes away until you intentionally work on it with a coach or with a therapist. 

So unless you go and work through it instead, you might just keep working more. I'll keep doing more hoping that one day you will hit this goalpost of success and it's exhausting and it might lead you to burnout. It might lead you to want to close your business down and no longer love it. So you're done. You throw it in and you go and get a job. I've seen people who've done that. 

 

Second way:

If you are not valuing your expertise, that could also be imposter syndrome showing up in your business. Maybe you're looking at others around you and your industry, and you're comparing yourself. Comparing to somebody who's been in the industry longer than you. So you don't share your expertise with anyone cause you don't think you know enough or maybe you're not charging enough for what you do. Because you don't fully value your expertise and you don't think anyone would pay anything more to work with you.

Maybe you're not putting your hand up for speaking engagements or podcast interviews, because you don't think that you have anything worthwhile to share and while you have something that is so unique and so valuable and that is your own blend of your personality experiences, perspectives, insights, expertise that nobody else has. 

 

Third way:

Letting others step into the spotlight while you hold yourself back. This comes up when maybe you're thinking about doing a webinar, you're doing your first-ever launch and you're like, Oh, Everybody else is doing webinars, but I could never teach a webinar because what if somebody asked me a question that I can't answer live, or I want to start a podcast, but I'm not really that much of an expert. Other people in my industry know so much more than me. 

This is where your imposter syndrome is really holding your business back from success and I've felt this one a lot earlier on in my business back at my first legit speaking gig in 2018, which was at a podcasting conference. I was by far the most inexperienced, the youngest speaker there, and at the speaker retreat afterward, I noticed myself holding myself back from speaking up and contributing anything to the group because I felt like I had nothing to add, they'd all been in business. 

 

Fourth way:

You're not doing a live webinar because you don't think you know enough. The only result of this is that everybody else gets ahead and you don't. You're holding yourself back so that the other people who you say are ahead of you, just get further ahead and it's only they don't even know about that. It's really only hurting you. 

Now, if you are over teaching, over-delivering in your courses, programs, webinars, if you are trying to prove to others that you know enough about your area of expertise, that it leads you to over-teach and over-deliver, you're actually doing your students and your clients, a disservice. 

This is super common with course creators. The webinar that they're teaching for free becomes this big thing of, if I can just show my viewers how much I know about this topic, then they'll trust me and buy from me and then their course become this mammoth thing with every piece of their expertise bundled into it. 

And then they go and over-deliver like way over-deliver because they're worried that people won't see the value in it because they don't see the value in themselves. Maybe you've been there. I've been there. This is exhausting and it is doing your students a disservice because they don't want to learn every single thing about your area of expertise. 

Otherwise, they would go and study it. They'd go and get the qualification or do the certification. They are buying your course because they want to get a very particular outcome. They don't want to have the knowledge, they want to have the outcome and by teaching everything you're actually slowing them down from getting that outcome.

 

Fifth way:

The fifth way that imposter syndrome shows up in your business is saying yes when you want to say no. And just a general lack of boundaries when it comes to client relationships. You don't want to disappoint them because you're really worried that maybe they don't see the value in your services. So you go ahead and you add that extra service in, even though it's way outside of the original scope and they're not paying you more.

 

Sixth way:

Self-sabotaging any opportunities or any projects that are a little bit scary, maybe for a client like a dream client. And you're self-sabotaging them, that is another way that imposter syndrome shows up in your business. 

For example, maybe you are procrastinating, replying to that inquiry from a dream client because you are so worried that they're going to say no. Or maybe you're procrastinating, preparing that presentation for the speaking event that you're really afraid about, or your procrastinating that client project because you're worried it's not going to be good enough. When we do this, we actually turn it into a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When we procrastinate replying to that dream client, we're doing it because we think, oh, they're not going to want to work with someone like me. And then you're late to reply because you procrastinated which makes them not want to work with you. And it confirms what you already thought was true, even though it wasn't true.

 

Seventh way: 

Perfectionism. Who would've thought right? Perfectionism is actually another form of self-sabotage, but it doesn't really feel like it because it feels like you are just doing your best work. You care about the work, so you want to make it perfect but it comes from wanting it to be perfect because you don't think that it's good enough or you want to prove that it's good enough. But of course, it's never going ever to feel perfect enough for you. And I know creatives designers, writers, you guys struggle with this one a lot. I know because you want everything that you're creating to be like your best piece of work. But being a perfectionist about it is a waste of time. It's exhausting. And it stops you from having the impact that you could have with the work that is simply good enough. 

 

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