When self-doubt stops you from taking action, ask yourself these 5 questions instead

All of those thoughts you're having about whether you can do something new or different are totally normal—even expected—because you're stepping out of your safe, comfort zone. However, they don't need to be in the driver's seat. In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 questions you can ask yourself whenever self-doubt creeps in.

– How being honest about what's *really* scaring you will help you to see that doing anything outside of your comfort zone is going to bring up fear.
– Why shifting your focus to “who will miss out if I *don't* do this?” will shift your perspective about what you're doing.
– Why accepting that you'll never know everything about your niche provides opportunities for you to grow and learn in the future.
– The importance of a positive mindset when dealing with self-doubt and how you can change your internal self-talk.

 

 
When self-doubt starts to get in the way, here are a couple of questions that you can ask yourself to try and move through. 

And I remember having so much self-doubt in the lead-up to that event. I remember thinking, I'm speaking, I've been podcasting for six months at that point. And oh, like everyone here is a super experienced podcaster. What on earth can I share that's going to be of value? I don't know enough. I'm too new in business.

All of those doubts started to come up. I don't know enough. And by learning, by putting myself out there, and by doing more of the speaking, that is how I got through that self-doubt and built that confidence. But then, you know, I still struggle with self-doubt in other new areas. 

So here are a couple of questions to ask yourself to work through that self-doubt. 

 

Question #1: What am I really afraid will happen if I do this scary thing? 

All of these thoughts that you have, the self-doubt that is coming up about whether you can do it, are just there to keep you safe from something. They are there to protect you from something that you are afraid of. So what is the fear that is beneath that doubt? 

For example, are you afraid that you're going to put all of this effort into creating a course and nobody's going to want it? Are you afraid that if you start a podcast, people are going to judge you? Are you afraid that if you record a video and post it on YouTube, you're going to embarrass yourself? What is the fear that is underneath the doubt? And when you know what you are really afraid of, it's no longer about the doubts that are holding you back, it's about accepting that this fear is normal and it's going to come up whenever you do anything that is outside of your comfort zone. 

 

Question #2: Who am I doing a disservice by not doing this scary thing? 

For example, the book proposal. All of the people who might one day read the book that I feel called to write, I'm doing them a disservice because they can't learn and they can't read what I'm sharing. If I don't first do this one scary thing with this podcast, if I hadn't overcome all of the self-doubt that I had about podcasting and my voice, I didn't love my voice and all of the fears of what people in my life would think about me.

Who is she to be starting a podcast? Then I wouldn't be helping you with this episode right now. 

So if you don't do the thing that you are afraid of doing. Who is missing out? Who are you not able to help as a result of you not doing that thing? And even if you're saying, well, Steph, I don't have any value to share. Okay. That's good for you. But I need to know a little bit more before I can help anyone. I'm not enough of an expert yet. Even if you're thinking that I want to remind you, there's this model, a theoretical model called the stages of competence and there are four main stages. Where you are unconsciously incompetent is the first one.

 

Question #3: Where are my opportunities to grow?

So related to that last one, right? You will never know everything you could know about your particular area of expertise. You will never reach this point where one day you are like, that is it. I am done learning. I know everything that there is to know because how boring would that be if there's nothing left for you to learn? 

So instead of thinking, Oh, I need to learn more before I can show up and share my value, think about how much you've already learned and start to think about how exciting it is that there is still all of these knowledge gaps ahead of you that you will one day learn.

But you can start by sharing what you already know and as you start to progress and move down that path, you can start to share the new things that you've learned. 

So if you're thinking that you have to wait until you know everything before you can show up, you're never going to know everything, so now is probably the best time to start. And, you know, as you learn more, you've got to be open to everything evolving. Be open to changing your mind. 

 

Question #4: What could go right if I do this scary?

We are so quick to think of all of the things that could go wrong when we take a risk in our business. There are so many things that can go right. It's not just one way that it can work out.

And you're never going to know what the outcome is going to be until you do the thing. The only way to find out what that outcome will be is by getting out there and doing the thing. Not planning, not preparing, not thinking about it even more. It's by taking that imperfect action. That is how you're going to find out whether it works or doesn't work. And if it fails, cool, you've learned something from it. You can now take the information that you've learned from that experience, and you can iterate. You can go back to the drawing board and make changes and try again and try better.

 

Question #5: If roles were switched and if it were my best friend who is in my situation right now, what would I tell them?

We are our own worst critics sometimes, right? You probably wouldn't be anywhere near as critical with your friend as you are with yourself. You probably wouldn't tell your friend, Hey, you don't know enough to do that to start a podcast or you're not ready to launch an online course. You wouldn't tell them those things. But yet you tell yourself those things, right? You'd probably tell your friend, Oh, no, it's going to be fine. It's going to work out. Even if it fails, you'll be all good. But you don't tell yourself those things. 

So talking to yourself as if you were a friend rather than an enemy can be a really useful tool to work through that self-doubt. And I know it doesn't come easily, especially to the overachievers amongst us. But just remember, you are going to be so much more critical to yourself than somebody else would be to you.

 

Pin it?